Monday 17 January 2011

People who bug me

Ninjas
Caravan enthusiasts
Young barmen
People who think they're sailors
People who don't go ice skating
Bearded men
People who carry rucksacks (any size)
‘Petrol heads’
People who don’t like people who say “back in theday”
Rugger buggers
People who browse Zippo lighters
Tourists who walk with their hands in their back pocket
Toe rags
Coldplay fans
People from Norwich
People who wear rock T shirts when they know jack sh!t about the band
Men who wear belts especially with large buckles
People who say “Imelda Marcos eat your heart out” when referring to a woman who has a lot of shoes
‘Monster truck’ fans
People who say “random” every othe word
Concert pianists
Rock DJs
Pea Brains
Back street heroes
Homo sapiens
Wrestling fans
Men who slightly resemble Barbary apes
Dudes
Men who wear V neck T shirts
People who dress as Fred Flinstone
Parrot heads
Games masters at minor public schools
People who say “You can do mine an’ all if you like” when they see someone washing their car or mowing their lawn
Trainee marine biologists
News paper vendors
Jazz drummers
People who collect wood then polish it and then sell it to the public as 'sculpture'
BBC script editors
Abusive market traders
Bicycle repair men
Wise guys
Post Office staff (especially the older ones)
Clowns
Basket weavers
Retired tree surgeons
Mime artists
People who hang about talking to security guards in shopping centres
People who ask “what are you driving these days?”
Triathletes
Stroppy Ice cream men
Tennis coaches
‘Singer songwriters’
People who work in dry cleaners (especially part timers)
Post feminists
‘Nu rave’ fans
People called Brian, Keith or Benny
Darts players wives
Bowie freaks
Star Wars fans
Geeks
Men who wear Eastenders style leather jackets
Politicians (all parties) except Tony Benn
Hairdressers who smoke
Paperweight collectors
Skateboarders who carry their boards around with them
People who wear Lambretta clothing
Skinny dippers
Badger baiters
Lindy hoppers
Men in cowboy boots (leave them for the laydees)
Tarot card readers
Tin whistle players
Church organists who make crude jokes
Party planners
Pipe smokers (especially Welsh)
Real ale buffs
Fans of alternative cinema
Pin heads
Bad actors (especially children)
Rock a billy rebels

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