People who bug me part 2

People who collect Status Quo badges

Water carriers

Wrong 'uns

People who don't like people who don't like Benny from Abba

Crypto fascists

Toilet attendants who have a drink problem

Midnight tokers

Peace merchants

Coal merchants

Falafel vendors

Old-skool wrestlers

People who say 'marshmellows' 'Westminister' and 'Arksk'

Draft dodgers

Tax evaders

Ram raiders

Best men from Aldershot

Ice hockey goalkeepers

People from Lapland

Men who operate shit fair ground rides

'Extroverts'

Flirts

Men in skirts

Freddie 'parrot face' Davies fans

Scuba divers

Tractor drivers

Hop pickers

Fire eaters

Grouse beaters

Shy lollipop ladies

Pop artists

People who believe in magic

People who don't think Paul Simon is the guvnor

Kebab kids

People who think they can throw apples over buildings, but fail

Town cryers

Hair dryer designers

People who use the phrase 'what do you know' in the wrong context

Trainee milliners

People who thought Jim Rockford was a gayer

People who mug off The Style Council

Lucid dreamers

Oiks

Cheeky little bastards

People who name their dogs after soul singers

Cat people (who put out fire)

Organ grinders

Book binders

People who think Coronation Street isn't real

Eddie Izzard lookalikes

Unicyclists

Jugglers

People who say 'down with the kids'

Back packers

Ramblers especially Welsh

Choclatiers

Candy Bar girls

Dandies

Flaneurs

Desk jockeys

Make up artists with BO

People who have a problem with authority

Postmen who don't wear shorts all year round

Seven songs with the word love in the title which aren't crap and aren't by The Beatles

Ever fallen in love with someone (you shouldn't  have?) Buzzcocks

First line: you spurn my natural emotions, you make me feel I'm dirt and I'm hurt.

This song summed up exactly how I felt after I phoned up  Lynne Brown to ask her out and she turned me down, probably why I spent the rest of the evening playing this and trying to make myself cry. The next day at school was hard believe me!

Love is a wonderful colour, The icicle works

First line: My friend and I where talking one evening beside some burning wood.

I think they're referring to a bonfire here or maybe they had just torched a beach hut or something. This was 1983 in Liverpool, heavy times! But hey, why would they want to set fire to small wooden seaside buildings? They were ...in love.

Modern love  David Bowie

First line: I know when to go out I know when to stay in get things done

He certainly did, Friday and Saturday night out, natch, Sunday lunch time out, meat raffle in The Horseless Jockey. The rest of the week in, except for Tuesdays, darts and Thursdays, pool if Big Kev couldn't make it because of his sciatica.

Love wil tear us apart Joy Division

First line: When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low, and resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow,

What's all that about? explains why no one liked them at the time. I saw them supporting Buzzcoks in 1979 and there were only two people dancing, they were in the upper sixth at our school and 'on drugs' ... probably.

18 carat love affair The associates

First line: I told you not to meet me here, I can't be seen with you whispering in my ear.

Your'e in The Adulterers Arms in Dundee talking to the lads about transport to the next away game, (Big Davey's got the van for the weekend) when your bird comes in and starts whispering about her new underwear and that, Give it a rest hen!

Everlasting love, The love affair

First line: Hearts gone astray, leaving hurt when they go, I went away just when you needed me so.

Yes, you did go away didn't you pal, three days in Blackpool on Gary's stag do just when your missus wanted a hand updating her CV, well she'll probably fail the interview for the bar job at The White Line thanks to you, you wrong. 'un!

Slave to love Bryan Ferry

Fist line: Tell her I'll be wating, In the usual place, with the tired and weary where there's no escape

The Weathered Spoon at eight then, the big table by the fruit machine. I might get something to eat it's curry club on a Thursday. Mine's a pint of Skol and Awkward Dave will have a Double Diamond shandy,cheers Bry!